Last month I presented the technique and art of stalking oneself (part I). I gave each of us an assignment to stalk our internal dialogue for the month, to notice if it is critical or supportive of you/others? Is it positive or negative? What are its favourite topics of themes? I asked you to stalk and listen to yourself daily, then at the end of each day to spend five minutes journaling about what you found.

Here it is one month later. Be honest, did you do it? And if you didn’t do it, do you know why you didn’t? Don’t dismiss what I’m asking you for in answering these two questions, especially the second. Most of you didn’t stalk and journal daily, I know that. How do I know that? Because I’ve trained and taught people for thirty years and I know the power of inertia and procrastination. I know the snares, bad habits and illusions we all struggle with. I know because I know myself. I have stalked myself. I can “see” myself. What I want is for you too to know and “see” yourself. So back to the second question, “Do you know why you didn’t do it?” Don’t answer right away. Savor the chase as you stalk the answer to this question. Yes there are the obvious answers that leap to the mind – too busy, lazy, forgot, not interested – and these are all on one level valid, but beyond these reasons there lies something deeper. I will stalk it for you because I know this territory.

19122317 - telescope on the beach in qingdaoEach of us struggles with our inability to execute our best intentions. It is easier to think than do. We fool ourselves by believing that our best intentions count for something. We feel proud and satisfied when we make promises to ourselves, as if we have done something great. Let me share with you a secret. Our best intentions count for nothing, because most of them don’t happen. Harsh but true. If you’re truly honest and stalk your life, you will “see“ this for yourself.

Looking closely (stalking), you will find some areas of your life where you perform and execute flawlessly, and other areas where you fail again and again. We usually settle into this routine. We accept it as life and dismiss it as unimportant. Besides, we tell ourselves, we are too busy making a living, raising children, going to school, meeting deadlines. You choose the reasons (all valid and true) you give yourself for not doing what you intended to do. But not executing on our intentions is a dangerous habit to have entrenched, and for most of us it is entrenched, and we don’t even realize it.

So without your doing any stalking whatsoever I have stalked for you, and have revealed something for you to “see.” Because that is the purpose of stalking – to see ourselves without illusion.

Now I would like you to think about what areas of your life consistently go unattended. In what areas of your life do you repeatedly make promises, and then fail to execute on them? Remember one of the agreements in stalking is no judgments. Don’t judge yourself, blame yourself or make up reasons why you fail to make changes in those areas of your life, just notice it. When you truly see this, own it and accept it. This is powerful. It is not resignation but realization. You are “seeing” yourself without illusion. It is only after seeing yourself that you can design a strategy to move beyond this ‘stuck’ area in your life. Don’t be naïve and think yet another good intention will be enough. It never has been in the past so why would it in the future? Know your habits. Know your routines. Know the excuses you give yourself. Know what trips you up again and again. This is stalking. It is only after knowing and seeing that you can make lasting positive changes.

There are three areas of your life that I suggest you stalk: your internal dialogue, your habits, and your energy fluctuations.

Let’s examine our habits and routines. All of us are creatures of habit, and our habits are more entrenched than you would suspect. Sleeping habits, eating habits, working habits, leisure habits, thinking habits. It can be quite startling to realize how much of our life is on remote control, powered by our habits. Some are obvious, such as drinking coffee, watching TV in the evening, working too hard, being lazy. We all have our own particular habits. But others are more subtle, like our internal dialogue habits, but then you wouldn’t know that because you didn’t stalk yourself last month (You can always go back and try again.).

Habits and routines, while necessary in some circumstances, can have a numbing effect on our life. We tend to forget that they are only habits and routines, no more or less, and they are not our life. Let your choices make your life, not your habits and routines.

In fact, a very powerful awakening technique is to choose a habit and break it for no other reason than to show yourself it can be done. Try it this month. Oh yeah, I forgot, you’re too busy, lazy, not interested etc. But this one is easier than last month’s. Pick something symbolic, something you won’t miss, something that has become a habit and you’ve been meaning to change anyway, and do it. Change one tiny habit in your life for this month and notice every time you don’t do it. You will find yourself about to do it, (because it is habit) but by stalking yourself you can catch yourself and make the choice not to do it.

Or maybe it is to do something that you’re in the habit of not doing. Habits can be not doing as well as doing. The key is to change your routine in one small aspect of your life. What difference will it make? More than you would suspect. Up for the challenge? Ready to be creative? Ready to start altering your life one step at a time? Remember that your intention is only an intention and of no value unless actualized through daily stalking and action. You actually have to do it. Do you have it in you to change one tiny habit? This month and this month only? Don’t answer with words. Answer with action.

Next month I will write about Stalking Energy Fluctuations

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